I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
