They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize