Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize