I puked a lego.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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