Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
