so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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