ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
