guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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