how do flat chested girls get laid?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?