I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
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ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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