i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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