Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
