the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
