his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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