I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
