Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
