i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I FOUND THE LEGS
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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