their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
