This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
