Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
