His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
