Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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