I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What drink are we having for lunch?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
