we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
