she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
