So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
