Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
