Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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