My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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