Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
