scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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