so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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