First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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