i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
