those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
