WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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