I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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