i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
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