This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
