That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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