Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize