3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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