but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
