We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
