You smell like stripper and shame
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
