the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
