Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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