i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
wow bdsm is so cute
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
