hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
