Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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