So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
