I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
my liver is dry heaving
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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