I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
