I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
