I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
