seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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