Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
