i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
40s are totally the cure
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
