check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
This is my gift to your gina
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
