She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Watching her eat just hurts me
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
