All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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