i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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