I'd wear matching sweaters with you
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
