As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
