i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
is that a dick in a sweater?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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